Rosh Hashanah Blue

Let's talk about going to shul.

I have a friend who is frum, but who is one of the more outrageous frummies I know. We can go toe-to-toe in foul language and just last Saturday night, I saw her down a pitcher of some fruity vodka drink without even getting a buzz. My point? She goes to shul every Shabbos without fail. I sat next to her in our rented High Holiday seats one row back in the women's section - she was davening like her life depended on it.

How often do I go to shul? Mmm...never.

Shabbos morning rolls around and all I want to do is curl up on the couch with my book for a few hours before davening and going to lunch. I try to convince myself that I should go hear laining, but my laziness yetzer hara gets the better of me.

So, how much time did I spend in shul on Rosh Hashanah, one of the holiest days on the Jewish calendar? Approximately two hours.

On the first day, I arrived just in time for shofar blowing, having davened shacharis at home. I lasted through the Kedushah of Mussaf before I fled the scene. I had to get out. I was suffocating and dying of boredom. Where was the kavannah?!? In years past, I've been able to dredge it up from somewhere, but this year, nothing.

Second day I used the excuse that I was having people over for lunch and I needed to do last minute things like heat the roast, make Waldorf salad (sans nuts), bake the squash kugel, etc. I did manage to hear shofar blowing - a somewhat impromptu performance given by my neighbor while standing on the street corner for the benefit of myself, his wife, and M.H. who was coming to eat lunch at my house.

I hope Yom Kippur is easier. Otherwise, it will be a long, long day.

Off to eat oatmeal before the fast starts.