The Anti-Bride: A Rant, of Sorts
Dear Mom, C.G., and anyone else to whom this may concern:
All I want out of life right now is to pack up and sell my house. On the day of our wedding, I want to marry Soulmate, serve everyone a meal, and be done with it. I don't care what I wear. I don't care what the invitations look like. I don't care what little favors we'll give out. I don't even care about the dancing. I just want to spend the rest of my life with my one-and-only.
Is that so hard to understand?
The dresses? The all look the same to me - every last one. On top of that, none of them are tznius and I can't for the life of me imagine what they'll look like in an altered state. Not that I really care. I found a dress at the gemach. It's very pretty and fits me nicely. It needs to be tznius-ized. Mom, you didn't like it and are now making me insane by driving to every bridal boutique in the greater Chicagoland area taking pictures of dresses that all look exactly like each other!
Maybe I have a genetic defect. Perhaps my defining X-chromosome had the teeny portion of that releases the bride hormone around age twelve lopped off in the womb.
I am the Anti-Bride.
Soulmate and I should show up in jeans and hiking boots to the chuppah. That'd serve you all right.
posted by Sarah @ 19:11
6 comments
6 Comments:
hey AS- does that mean i can wear my plaid flannel shirt after all? maybe i could even get some new doc martens for the occasion... and i was thinking that soulmate could brew up some happy pills to give out to the guests instead of party favors- or whatver the newest hassle is...wanna come hide out here for a day or two and we'll tell everyone you went out of town???
just remember, we all really love you- with or without the bride gene!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(just don't tell my mother-in-law! hahahaha)
I was always told that the wedding is for the parents. The day is really the realization of their dream. Of course they will want it to match their vision of it for you.
Your dream is the rest of your life with Soulmate.
I am sure it is a lot of pressure and details you really do not want to be dealing with, but try not to let it get to you. Pick out the few things that are really important to you and let your mom and whoever else have a field day with everything else. It is just one day, and then it is over.
And then you and Soulmate have a beautiful life to lead...and then one day you can torture your own children about their wedding day and make everyone come in jeans.
YOU are very smart! It's the guy and the marriage that's important. Otherwise, you're just planning a big party so try not to stress and have some fun with it.
Mazel Tov!
Go for jeans and hiking boots! I have an ongoing joke with a friend that she is going to buy a brand new denim skirt for my wedding, because I want it toned down and for everyone to be comfortable there. Do what you want - it's your day! Good luck getting through it.
AnySara is doing an amazing job of all of this, and each day impresses me in new ways. I have the easy job out here on the other side of the continent, meeting with immigration folks, starting to prepare for Pesach, and studying the Marital Secrets of the Chassidic Masters. AS has much tighter deadlines to work to, and many more responsibilities to fulfill. I will work to warrant the angst and stress she is going through.
you could always like elope and just not invite your perents. i mean if what you really want to do is wear denimn and hiking boots go for it!
though your folks will make you pay for it. (my mother didn't have that part of the X cromasome either, her relatives litteraly planned a whole new wedding for them even though they already had it planned and aranged really simple worse than that they made them drop the other one.)
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