I did it

I finally renewed my Frumster membership. Nebby? Yep. Desperate? Maybe.

I went chosson-shopping tonight. It's just weird. It's a little like ordering from a catalogue. You pick out what you want and when you call the store, they're out of the size/color you need. At least with SYAS, someone else does the ordering for you. It's rejection on a slightly less personal level. :)

Do we ever really know what we want? I think I do. I more have a picture in my head of what I want my life to look like. I guess the trick is finding someone whose vision of the future matches up at the key points.

For example: I want a house with a big backyard where I will be Mother Earth and grow lots of flowers and vegetables and tend our muddy, rosy-cheeked children. I want my husband to sing zemiros at the Shabbos table with our guests and sit with a sefer on Shabbos afternoon. He should learn as often as he can, but not be pretentious or overly dogmatic about it.

I'll cook and clean, he'll fix things. I'll iron his shirts lovingly and he'll bring me flowers and whisper how much he loves me in my ear.

We'll go walking and biking and sailing and camping together and delight in just sitting and talking after the kids are asleep.

Does Prince Charming really exist?