An Ode to Soulmate and the Stinky Dog

It's a lovely warm Friday. We're supposedly expecting several inches of snow tonight and I'm facing a weekend of babysitting for M.H.'s darling children.

Normally this would stress me out. I feel very peaceful today, though. The kids are generally very well-behaved for me and I'm looking forward to spending the weekend with them. I slept there last night and woke rested and mellow.

Last week, I sent Stinky Dog to hang with my grandparents until the wedding. I miss her terribly. Sure, she smells, scratches, sheds, licks herself in unsightly places, and is generally very demanding, but she also is superb at cuddling, bringing me socks, and looking happy to see me even when I'm totally cranky.

Soulmate. A week today I will be there with him. We have plans to drive up to a lovely valley Friday morning for a picnic lunch before returning in time for Shabbos. Being apart from him is nearly unbearable. I have no idea how people manage long engagements far from one another. We spend, on average, three hours a night on the phone and I would gladly spend more if I didn't need to sleep.

So, there you are. All the news that's fit to print. Oh, and if you're Canadian, please go vote on Monday for anyone except your local Conservative candidate.

Dreary

I've been waiting for inspiration before posting. I've been waiting at least to have some time.

These days are a mix of joy and burden. So much work is left to be done to sell the house that it's often overwhelming. I have to make a conscious effort to see over and through them to the other side.

But you've heard this all before.

Every day I fall more deeply in love with Soulmate and the visions of how our life will be blossom in ways I hadn't before imagined.

I am exhausted.

Maybe...

I found the dress.

Yes, I know. All that ranting about how they all look the same.

I didn't want to take it off. I looked hot. I never think I look hot.

Maybe I am a girl after all.

The house is coming together bit by bit. Stinky Dog went to stay with the grandparents today. They'll bring her back when they come for the wedding. I'm lonely for her, but happy to not have to sweep dog fur every day while the house is being shown.

I labeled my first box with our names and address today: Soulmate and Anysara. It was a comfortable thrill, like puzzle pieces sliding into place.

I should go to bed. I've been playing hooky from school the last two days in favor of taking care of wedding/moving preparations. I cringe at what I'll find tomorrow. This year's class has all the charm of a snake pit. I'm not exactly broken up about leaving them mid-year.

Goodnight, dear readers.

The Anti-Bride: A Rant, of Sorts

Dear Mom, C.G., and anyone else to whom this may concern:

All I want out of life right now is to pack up and sell my house. On the day of our wedding, I want to marry Soulmate, serve everyone a meal, and be done with it. I don't care what I wear. I don't care what the invitations look like. I don't care what little favors we'll give out. I don't even care about the dancing. I just want to spend the rest of my life with my one-and-only.

Is that so hard to understand?

The dresses? The all look the same to me - every last one. On top of that, none of them are tznius and I can't for the life of me imagine what they'll look like in an altered state. Not that I really care. I found a dress at the gemach. It's very pretty and fits me nicely. It needs to be tznius-ized. Mom, you didn't like it and are now making me insane by driving to every bridal boutique in the greater Chicagoland area taking pictures of dresses that all look exactly like each other!

Maybe I have a genetic defect. Perhaps my defining X-chromosome had the teeny portion of that releases the bride hormone around age twelve lopped off in the womb.

I am the Anti-Bride.

Soulmate and I should show up in jeans and hiking boots to the chuppah. That'd serve you all right.

On Bended Knee

After a day of travel I was met at the arrivals gate in Windsor, ON, by AnySara. We stood in the throng of people waiting for the luggage to come out. I searched about for a romantic spot to propose, but alas in an airport with less style and charm than any I’ve visited in developing nations, there was no spot to fit the bill.

So, I got down on bended knee, fished out the ring I’d been carrying in a pocket next to my heart for the last 10 hours, and with a short proposal I’d put together on the flight out (note from AS: the proposal was beautiful and although I was thoroughly kabibbled, I remember it involving the words "a life of magic, discovery, and adventure), asked her to marry me. Much to my pleasure she said yes, and we started an absolutely wonderful week. I met her friends and family, all of whom I liked (AS: Soulmate was a real trooper. He charmed his way through two sets of parents, one set of grandparents, and assorted other friends and relatives - they are almost as much in love with him as I am :) . And I learned what it feels like to be absolutely in love with someone.

For a while AnySara has been referring to me here as her soul mate. I can say without a moment’s hesitation that she is my soul mate, my best friend, and the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

- SoulMate

Selling, Planning, and Packing

It's been an interesting morning.

Disclaimer: I decided this morning that with planning the wedding, selling the house, and planning the move, this is going to be the most stressful two months of my life.

The upside? All the hard work pays off with a life with Soulmate.

The downside? I'm probably going to be a little cranky once in awhile. Okay, a lot.

This morning, a frum guy who invests in houses came to look at mine. He's basically not interested because he doesn't think he could make a profit on the house. He also gave the horribly misguided advice that I should just default on my mortgage since he thinks I won't be able to sell the house anytime soon. Bad, bad, bad idea.

So, I'm back to davening that H-shem will please sell my house.

I went to Home Depot today and bought all the stuff necessary to make the changes the realtor suggested. Will start on that tonight. Had another shaitel appointment today - none of the colors were right, so we're still looking. She'll order from New York. We did talk $$, though, and I think it will work out. I'm still not hooked into anything.

I'm going with C.G. to meet with the caterer today. The shul we want may not be available and C.G. asked about changing the date. I told her I'd rather jump off the Ambassador Bridge than change the date again. Nothing before will work and, if we wait any longer, it'll be nearly Pesach time.

Stinky Dog is slurping away at her foot which is really irritating me right now. I need some happy pills.

An Ode to the BlogBlond

I can't remember if I mentioned it and I don't have the time right now to look, but the BlogBlond was the shadchan who brought Soulmate and I together

However, long before BlogBlond was our shadchan, she was a friend of uncompromised quality.

As Soulmate can attest, not much can make me tear up at leaving this part of the Midwest. Yet, three times so far this weekend, tears have fallen when I think of being so far from BlogBlond and all that her friendship means to me.

Along with Soulmate, BlogBlond really is all that and a bag of chips (but not in a weird way). She showed tremendous courage and perseverance in overcoming a misdiagnosed illness that drastically altered her life for over two years. I barely knew her before she got sick, but the kindred spirit in her shined through in spite of this.

We laugh at irreverent and often inappropriate things. I know I can go to her with even my most shocking secrets and she won't be shocked. I cry on her shoulder when I can't take what the world is dishing out to me anymore. I call her with juicy bits of gossip (spare me the loshon hara lectures, dear readers) and we spar respectfully over politics.

I adore the BlogBlond and her family. Her husband gave a moving toast at the l'chaim last night that brought back the flood of memories of the last five years.

I hope she knows how much I love her, how much I'll miss her, and how glad I am that Soulmate and I have free long-distance calling.

Posts You Should Read

Soulmate won't get home until about 2:00 a.m. He'll call and reassure me that everything is right with the world. Until then, I have a lot of time to kill, so I've been reading blogs and trying to figure out how to ship my stuff out to the west coast.

I've run across two posts you should read.

The first is by MC Aryeh over at A Whispering Soul. It's purely self-indulgent for me, but his characteristic wit creates a beautiful charicature of my courtship with Soulmate.

The second post nearly broke my heart. I've been numb ever since I dropped Soulmate off at the airport today and this post cracked through the unfeeling veneer to the rawness within and made me examine how absolutely lucky I am. I have no idea what I did to deserve Soulmate - perhaps I did something in a past life or perhaps I did something unintentionally that was a bracha to someone else. Soulmate has brought such tremendous light and warmth into my life that I'm still at a loss for words. When I find them, you'll be the first to know.

L'Chaim

Thank you to everyone who wrote with mazal tovs and brachas. The l'chaim was last night - usually these aren't my scene, but Soulmate and I both had a blast. Many thanks go out to M.H., Photochick, and everyone else who worked so hard to make the event possible.

When is the chasunah, you ask? 5 Adar/March 5. (No, it's not on Onlysimchas). I've already given notice at work and have begun the monumental task of selling my house, im yirtze H-shem.

I'll leave it to my favorite guest blogger to tell about the actual proposal itself. It was beautiful and left me quite speechless with a goofy grin on my face. I think we also made the day of several people standing in the baggage claim at the airport who witnessed the happy event.

I have the day off school tomorrow and will spend it on wedding/moving plans. As you might have guessed, I'm not such a girlie-girl and really don't care overmuch about the wedding itself. It'll be nice to have a day to celebrate with friends and family and to show hakares hatov to all the people who have helped me reach this point. What I'm really looking forward to is life with Soulmate...